The Things I Say About Me

Someone posted this quote on Facebook recently and it immediately caught my attention:

Simple words, but a powerful statement for me right now. I've been focusing lately on being aware of and changing my patterns of negative self talk and these words are like a piece of armor for my battle. They caution me not to so willingly hear, and naively believe all the things my mind tells me. And it sure has a lot to say. My mind is full of messages that passively, but consistently and persuasively lead me to beliefs. Observations, experiences, judgements...it has carefully compiled the data and will spit out calculated conclusions whenever the opportunity arises. Conclusions that decisively point towards an assumed reality, but are typically void of grace, love and acceptance. They condemn, cut down and sway toward distrust. They predict the future based on past experience, always with a hopeless and cynical bent. My mind speaks like a cranky schoolmarm, twisted by failure and disappointments.
Why do I listen? I've hardly even put up a fight. Is it laziness? Weakness? Maybe it just seems to make sense. It's hard to argue. I know the track record. Why would the expectations of the future not match the performance of the past?
Sure, I could just try harder. I could go all out, learn from my mistakes, do it right this time... "be" better. But I know how it will turn out. It's bound to be...well, imperfect.
Hello?!? Who AM I to be fooling myself all this time? Who am I to have believed it? This bar that I keep jumping for, yet always missing, has been set by no one but me! I have been my own worst enemy. I've been hanging out in the visitors section, booing the losing team. It's time for me to change my allegiance and spend some time in the cheering section. I've got to shout louder than the opponents in my head and drown out the voice that says no.
I've got to listen to a different voice. The  voice that speaks love...that speaks grace...that speaks truth.
I'm waiting on the Holy Spirit to be my coach this time. I desperately want to hear His voice telling me what to believe.
I know He's going to have a very different story to tell.
It will take some courage and focus on my part to silence the other talk. My mind is very verbal. It's not going to fade back easily. That's ok though. I can take on a fight. I'm the heroic damsel-in-battle, remember? Rescuer of lifeless sleepers and slayer of fire breathing dragons!
So watch out, naysayer and enemy. This heroine is headed for a much happier ending.  

My One Word

I am embarking on a journey with some friends this year.

A growth journey...a development journey...a spiritual journey.
We decided together to start 2015 in a new direction. Instead of resolving to achieve lofty goals in the new year, which would likely be abandoned or forgotten in the craziness of life, we chose instead to focus on a different mission. A one-word, year-long mission.
This One Word, chosen thoughtfully and prayerfully, would be powerful, yet have the versatility to be applied in many situations. From big decisions to small matters and everyday choices, it would serve to be a simple tool in the form of an unforgettable word...a word which holds depth, meaning, and potential for each individual.
Once chosen, the word will come to life. It will be shared, pondered, talked about, prayed for, questioned and lived-out throughout the year. Our hope is that by the end of the year, we are changed people. People who simply made an effort to focus on one specific word as an agent of change, and were thus transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit who used it to work in and through our lives.

My word is Awaken.

For the past few years, I feel like I've just been, well, asleep. I've been in a state of lifelessness; a dull sleepiness that crept in and stole the spark, the courage and the joy from my life. I stumbled into a season of life filled with circumstances that I didn't choose, and the bottom line is that I have responded poorly. It's as if I've been mindlessly taking bites from the proverbial "poison apple", simply because it's what was offered to me. And it has kept me under a sleepy spell all along...waiting, wishing for some magic kiss of life to rescue me and wake me from my slumber.

Well, my story is about to take a surprising turn, because I have opened my eyes. I have seen my escape and I hold the key that will unlock the prison. See, my Prince has been with me all along. I knew all along that He was close, but I played my role of the damsel in distress well, thinking I could avoid being courageous or taking risks because eventually He would step in and save the day. But He didn't choose to write my story in that way this time. Yet, He remained...present, patient and understanding. I think He was waiting for me want it badly enough, the waking-up. There is no doubt that He wants it for me. He always chooses joy and life to spite sorrow and death. It's His specialty.
He wants me to rise now. To awaken to many things in and around me. He wants me do different things. Take risks. Chase after the things that feed me with energy and fill me with light and life. He wants me to be one who shares those same gifts to others.

I'm not sure how this story is going to unfold. My new identity as the heroic damsel-in-battle will require some different things from me. It's going to take a lot of seeking and questioning, and even more listening, following and doing...maybe even some not-doing. It's going to take courage and stamina.
The best part though? I won't have to do any of it alone. My dream come true is that every awakening will be prompted, spoken, breathed or directed by the Holy Spirit. My rescuer. My knight in shining armor. My Prince Charming.

I'm ready to turn the page of my life's book. It's time for me to yawn and stretch...and face the first day of the rest of my life.

It's going to be a great story.

...for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, 

"Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." 

-Ephesians 5:14